Back to the present

Okay, here I am...back from my trip. No ring..boo.

That's okay, I guess. What am I really looking for in this relationship anyways? Sometimes I believe we would get married and have kids. Sometimes, I feel like he just is not "the one." What's a girl to do?

I was pretty sure my ring speculation was no longer plausible when I got to his place to pick him up for the airport and he was not even packed. Ahh! I already knew then, so there was no watching and waiting during the trip. Besides, we spent the entire trip with a third person - either his dad or friend. There was no "romance" planned for the trip. Despite that, we had a great time. (I know it doesn't sound that way.)

Sometimes, I wonder why he is so hot and cold at the same time. He could be super lovey-dovey one day and act like a friend the next. Also, he doesn't like to hold me for pictures. Why? Why just stand next to the person like they are your relative or something...or not even? We got some pretty not-so-good pictures. The relationship did not start out this way...I don't know what happened to cause this.


He is working 3 night shifts back to back..today is the second day. I have not spoken to him since yesterday afternoon when I called him from work before he went in for his night shift. He has not called me...I decided not to call or contact him, though I miss him a lot. I don't understand why he does not feel the need to talk to me :(.

I know, mopey entry. Sorry..and this is only my second one. Hope the next one will bring better news.

<3 <3 <3